More Than a Diagnosis: The Journey That Saved My Life
For years, I kept my infertility story tucked away because it felt too heavy to share. Infertility, for me, was more than a diagnosis. It was silence, stigma and the quiet weight of navigating it all alone. My infertility diagnosis came nearly a decade ago, at a time when there were far fewer communities, conversations or social media spaces to turn to. I longed to find stories like mine but found almost none. Seeing organizations like RESOLVE amplify voices has shown me what’s possible and why I choose to share my story today.
Six months into trying to conceive, I was diagnosed with blocked fallopian tubes. I was in my late 30s and told our chances of conceiving naturally were near impossible. Suddenly, motherhood became more than a hope, it became a race against time. IVF offered us a plan. Not certainty, not ease, but direction. And when everything else felt uncertain, that mattered. But after our IVF cycle failed, I found myself holding both grief and a quiet knowing that I didn’t want to try again. We were presented with options: try again, consider donor eggs/embryos or explore adoption. Our RE walked us through each path with honesty and compassion, but what stayed with me most was how she gently planted the seed of adoption, not as a last resort, but as a meaningful and valid path to parenthood. At the time, the disappointment of the failed cycle was so raw, but even deeper than that, something in me knew pursuing another round of IVF wasn’t the path forward. In my gut, I felt it clearly and I chose to trust it even before I fully understood why.
You see, what I didn’t know at the time was that my body was quietly fighting a very rare autoimmune condition, one that went undiagnosed for years even as specialists tested and searched for answers. During that time, including while we were trying to conceive and throughout IVF, my liver enzymes were elevated to nearly ten times the normal range. It was concerning, but no one could fully explain why. Life moved forward without clear answers.
It wasn’t until a few years ago, during an intake appointment with a new primary care provider, that everything shifted. After reviewing my medical history, she asked me plainly, “Do you realize that not getting pregnant might have saved your life?” It was during that appointment that I learned liver enzymes naturally elevate during pregnancy and are closely monitored, but mine were already at dangerously high levels. Entering a pregnancy with those levels could have had devastating consequences, including liver failure. In that moment, everything I thought I understood about my infertility journey began to reframe. The inability to conceive that I had mourned for years as failure was more than loss, it may have quietly saved my life.
My path to motherhood ultimately led to adoption – a beautiful, complex and deeply redemptive journey that brought me to my son. Adoption taught me that family is more than biology. It’s built through love, patience, surrender and the ability to hold both joy and grief in the same hand. My son is my greatest gift, and I am endlessly grateful that life’s detour led me to him.
There’s also a truth I carry with care. My journey was shaped by access. Through my employer, I had IVF coverage, and later, adoption support. Both resources opened doors that I know aren’t available to everyone. Infertility is more than a diagnosis, it’s also about access, equity and who gets the opportunity to try. I’m deeply aware that many women are navigating this journey without those same options and that awareness has changed how I hold my story. It’s also why I have such deep appreciation for the work of RESOLVE. Seeing stories like mine reflected in spaces like RESOLVE reminds me that infertility is more than an individual experience. It’s a collective one. It’s a community made up of many paths, many identities and many truths that all deserve to be seen and heard. And that is why the “More Than” theme resonates so deeply with me. Infertility is more than one story. More than one path to parenthood. More than one type of family. It’s layered. It’s complex. It’s deeply personal. And yet profoundly communal.
My journey includes loss, medical uncertainty, a life-altering diagnosis and ultimately, the gift of adoption. It includes grief and gratitude, heartbreak and healing. It is not linear. It is not simple. But it is mine. Infertility ended up being more than a diagnosis. The ‘no’ I grieved may have saved my life. And if sharing my story helps even one woman feel less alone, then it is more than worth it.
-Angie Booker
